also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
