I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
