Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Randomize
