He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Walk of Shame today included voting.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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