they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
