You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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