Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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