they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize