Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
We left the knife in your bed.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
