Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
I don't think brook has ever known best
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
