Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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