we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
