Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
