did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Randomize
