note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
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