doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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