also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
