i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Randomize
