Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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