Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
It's shark week go big or go home
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
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