dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
