I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
