Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
