Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
