Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
May the power of my ass compel you!!
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Randomize