Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
smell my finger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize