so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
