just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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