Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
