It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
I need to stop coming to work sober
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Also, beer. Big fan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Randomize