I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
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