im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
