I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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