i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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