Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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