HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
My penis needs a shock collar
Come share oat with me in your robe
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
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