So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
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