If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Randomize
