doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I want to make a zoo with you.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
