I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Its about making memories worth repressing
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
