I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
