Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
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