There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
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He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
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Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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