he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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