Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
