I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Gay?
German.
Pity.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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