i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
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