i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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