I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
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