So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
