Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I need a burrito and a hug.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
