I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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