butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
