Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
