Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
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