Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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