The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Randomize
