I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
My life is pants optional.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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