I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
