just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I checked into jail on foursquare
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
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