I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Randomize
