just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
