Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Randomize
