wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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