what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
