I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
